San Francisco, CA

Single mom of 3: "We're divorced, but I had kids with the right person"

Amy Christie

Katie and her husband had similar views when it came to getting married, starting a family, and having one of them stay at home to look after the kids. So, once they became parents, they settled into the roles they had agreed on without any significant issues. Her husband went to work while Katie stayed home in San Francisco, California, and looked after the kids.

Their shared values made parenting go well for them, and it also contributed to reducing conflict during their divorce. To this day, Katie is convinced that co-parenting doesn't mean you have to stay married to your partner. She believes she chose the best dad for her kids even though they couldn't be a couple for too long.

What are the details?

"My ex-husband and I always had similar views; we wanted to get married, start our family, and one of us would stay home to raise the kids. Having these shared values made parenting together easy; it was what kept our divorce amicable too. I truly believe you can be great co-parents, but that doesn't mean you should still be married. I'd say we are better parents to our three kids now that we have gone our separate ways. While my ex and I are no longer married, we still consider ourselves a family," Katie shared with Your Teen Mag about how her life changed, but her kids are still the ones who kept her and her ex-husband united.

Things might look differently when they're not all under the same roof, but love, commitment, and dedication made it all work out.

"We may do things a bit differently, but overall we share the same rules for our children and believe that good communication between us is important—and it makes our kids happy to know we agree," the mother explained.

Katie is pleased her kids have a responsible father, and even though they're not a couple anymore, she is convinced she made the right choice in having a family with him.

"We might not be together any longer, but I'm proud my ex is the father of my kids. He puts their feelings and needs first, spends time with them, and, most importantly, listens to them. Thankfully, he also listens to me. Whenever I have a concern, he hears me out. If I'm struggling or when feel I need him to step in with something, he does it, no questions asked," she said.

Her ex-husband always steps in when Katie or the kids need a break. And this has turned out to be very beneficial at a time when they've been home a lot more than usual.

"Having teenagers traveling between our two homes for the past months reminded me how glad I am to have had kids with him. My ex is always willing to spend time with them to give me a break. He's taken time off work or planned activities with them, like building an outdoor fire or making sushi."

And each time Katie tells him their kids need something, he doesn't hesitate to do all he can so they can be happy and comfortable.

"He hears me every time I tell him that I think our kids need something I can't deliver. And he trusts that I know what they might be going through since I spend more time with them. He never ignores my requests or feels he needs to assess the situation himself. If there are consequences for something they did at my house, he follows through when they get to his house. We're divorced, but I had kids with the right person."

Katie is grateful they've been able to rely on each other despite going through a divorce, and they've made the two homes they each have special to their kids.

"We've had each other's back even though we've been divorced for three years. I'm thankful every day that we've been able to maintain a healthy relationship throughout this for our children and ourselves. We may not want to be married any longer, but we still want to be partners. I don't think anything can change that," Katie concluded about the bond she and her ex have. Their kids keep them together, a team for parenting and hard times, set on making happy memories together.

Sources:

https://yourteenmag.com/family-life/teens-and-divorce/divorced-social-distancing

https://www.facebook.com/YourTeen

https://twitter.com/yourteenmag

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https://www.instagram.com/katiebinghamsmith/
https://www.facebook.com/Katiebinghamsmithwriter/
https://www.instagram.com/p/CeCYGo6lnLB/

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Amy Christie is a passionate writer and journalist, always striving to bring out the positive and create meaningful connections.

Dallas, TX
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