Dallas, TX

Husband asks wife to "back off" daughter: "Before she backs away from me"

Amy Christie

Susannah B. Lewis shared a unique message about what it means to raise a child, how to deal when they grow up, and the issues that could make parents think anger is the right answer.

The need to "back off" and let go is something many parents don't ponder on.

The author and dedicated mom also hadn't realized how much those words meant until her husband made her understand what was going on.

What are the details?

Lewis posted about the talk she had with her husband and how it impacted her relationship with her daughter.

Lewis's post touched thousands of online users since many parents struggle with similar issues, and anger often comes into the picture.

Late one night, her husband told her, "The Bible says, don't provoke your children to anger. You've got to back off of her."

That made her think again about everything that had been going on lately. It took a while to put it all in context, and then the mother started questioning herself on major issues, according to Sunnyskyz.

"Why am I constantly on her about something? Why am I making everything a battle? She's a great kid, a go-getter, an A student. Her drive and determination leave me in awe. She makes good decisions; she's obedient and kind," Lewis wrote.

Trying to come up with why all this was taking place and how it influenced the way her daughter bonded with her made her ponder many other connected issues.

"So why do I keep coming at her? Because she made me wait [...] for her after practice, or her room is a mess? Why am I angry all the time?"

The answer eventually surfaced, with all its hidden meanings.

"I don't want to let her go, and I'm trying to keep control. Her independence scares me. Her social calendar is full; I'm not on it. Grounding her for her messy room keeps her home with me. Yelling about petty things keeps her under my thumb, and it keeps me in charge. My anger is a product of fear," Lewis added.

So, the mother decided an open talk about it with her daughter would be the best thing.

"Last night, I told her, 'I've never done this. I've never raised a teenager before; I'm learning as we go.' And, time and again, she gives me grace. When I fly off the handle to keep her under my wing, keep her little, keep her in my sight and my reins," the post goes on.

Her annoyance and anger were reactions to the fear of losing her daughter as she grew up and became an adult.

"Her room will be empty in two years. She'll be away at college. I have a literal physical reaction to [...] her not being in her bed upstairs when I go to sleep at night. But it isn't about me; it is about her and the young woman God created her to be. He has good plans for the future. And I can't get in the way," the mother wrote.

That was how she understood why her husband gave her that piece of advice. Backing off can be positive when done for the right reasons.

"I have to back off, and before she backs away from me. Lord, help us humbly and gracefully loosen our grip on these precious children you've entrusted in our care since their birth. And entrust them, fully, unto You," Lewis concluded.

Her post got over 39,000 likes online, and her words rang true for thousands of parents. Raising a child is a fulfilling but challenging task, and feeling overwhelmed or occasionally overreacting is not uncommon.

Many of them needed to know that they are not alone, and this post just showed how letting your child grow up can pave the way for positive energy in the future with goodwill, trust, and mutual understanding.




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Amy Christie is a passionate writer and journalist, always striving to bring out the positive and create meaningful connections.

Dallas, TX

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