Don’t Fall for Love Bombing: How to Spot It and Ditch It

Amy Christie

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Feeling loved is one of the most wonderful things that can happen to you. But what if your emotions are played on and love bombing comes on the scene?

Mutual love and affection will make you feel amazing, full of energy, and help you go the extra mile to see your partner happy and content. What if the things you see are only part of a manipulation tactic?

Could love bombing be a part of your relationship?

Unfortunately, it’s hard to spot since it always comes disguised as a grand romantic gesture. The love and attention you receive from your partner should be ongoing, not just lavished to exact pressure. A celebration of your love can be a part of each day. Still, every time you feel a gesture is over the top and not entirely appropriate you should take a step back and think things through.

Who uses love bombing to manipulate?

Narcissists are the ones who will shower their half with the most extravagant romantic gestures. This is only done like a transaction, to get to their ultimate goal. They feel best when their partner is entirely dependent on them, gives up on having an opinion, and is basically a puppet in their hands, ready to obey their slightest wish or desire.

The calculations involved in this manipulative game are very far from real love.

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Let’s dig deeper into Love Bombing

You can only understand this kind of behavior by putting yourself in the shoes of a narcissist. This type of person is marked by insecurity and low self-esteem. Since it is impossible for a narcissist to have self-love he or she will make a show of affection resembling a moment in a romantic movie to tie their partner to them.

Despite the amazing gifts, the surprise trips, the romantic dinners, the messages, or the fairy tale getaways, things will quickly turn sour. First of all the narcissist does all this in the hope of receiving the same level of attention from his half. When this happens the manipulation is complete and the image of romantic love is very hard to shatter.

Don’t get tripped up in the whirlwind of gifts and sweet promises

However grand his gestures and head-turning his declarations a narcissist can’t keep this up for long. The problem is his partner believes in the lavish attention and will feel the natural need to return it.

Don’t commit to a nightmare relationship

Love bombing does resemble a magical courtship, but it’s never sustained. Keeping a big picture in mind will help you spot the trick early on.

The first question you need to ask yourself: Is this going too fast for me?

This is how to see clearly through this manipulation tactic:

  • Unfair demands on your time

You will receive attention and flattery, but you can forget about any time for yourself. The love bomber will demand immediate answers to his messages, calls, or emails. He will also expect an instant reaction to his gifts and other attentions.

If you feel you can’t breathe that’s a major red flag. In extreme cases you might not even get time to do the usual things such as routine skin care or beauty treatments since you have to be at the narcissist’s beck and call.

  • The game is on indefinitely

There is no escape, no break, and no time to relax and think things through. As long as you’re inside the vortex of impossible attention you are a fly in the manipulation game. Since the narcissist demands all your energy and time you will soon find yourself drifting away from family and friends.

Do a quick check in and note how long it’s been since you spoke to your parents, siblings, or other relatives. Did you get together with your friends this week? Don’t let the wall grow or you will feel worse.

  • Your boundaries are not respected

The narcissist in your life wants to get his way no matter what. He will gladly step over your principles, wishes, and emotional needs. Those are simply irrelevant things to him. What matters is that he wins the game and makes you feel like you can’t do anything without him.

Be on the lookout if threats come up every time you say you need more time. It’s not normal to be worried he will leave unless you bend to all his rules.

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Choose Someone who is happy to see the real you and respects your needs

Even if you were played until now, it’s not too late to call a love bomber’s game. Choose to be yourself in any circumstance and walk away from the people trying to pressure you.

It’s only natural to want to feel desirable and attractive, but don’t go for false promises. Nothing is worth trading in for your peace of mind. You will lose your personality in a toxic relationship. Don’t fight to keep alive something that can only hurt you in time.

You deserve better and you know it!

Surround yourself with love from friends and family and you will see beyond any negative love bombing trying to knock you off your feet and take you away from your dreams.

A narcissist’s attention lasts only for a little while

As soon as you feel you are struggling to get back his loving gestures the game is off and you are on to a major disappointment. It doesn’t always pay to try and save a relationship. If it’s a toxic one you will be drained without any single moment when you feel cherished and appreciated. Your inner worth is not dependent on someone else’s reactions. Only stay with someone who likes the real you. If he or she expects you to bend your ideas and become someone you don’t even know then it’s time to walk away.

On to new and happier paths!

Your journey doesn’t stop with a love bomber, but you can get yourself in a sticky situation if you don’t learn to recognize the issues early on. Compromise on both sides is healthy. When the compromise is only about what is important to you, then you are being diminished and annulled.

You matter more than that. Know it and act it.

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Amy Christie is a passionate writer and journalist, always striving to bring out the positive and create meaningful connections.

Dallas, TX

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