One young woman took to a Reddit post to get something off of her chest, which concerns how she feels about her daughter. It appears that although she gave birth to the girl, she does not feel love for her.
**This article is based on information sourced from social medical and medical websites, cited within the story**
According to psychologist Valeria Sabater, some reasons that a mother would not love her child include regret for being a mother, unresolved depression or trauma, and a negative self-image (source).
The young woman in the Reddit post explains that she was 16 when she had her now 14-year-old daughter. Here is what she shares:
I did not want to keep the baby, but my parents are conservative and pressured me into it. I did not want to be a mother. I was still just a child myself. Just the year before, I had never even kissed anyone before. MY pregnancy was the worst time of my life. But my parents openly celebrated the fact that there would soon be another child in the family. I did not want anything to do with the baby.
She goes on to explain that her parents adopted the child and raised her as theirs. She subsequently moved in with her aunt when the baby was two years old. She also ended contact with her parents and said that she was hurt, stating:
They had chosen their cravings for another child over the one they already had. It hurt me a lot. But if they wanted to play family I would let them. It's not like they were ever decent parents to me anyways.
She apparently felt replaced by her daughter in her parent's eyes, which may have contributed to her jealousy of her daughter. She explains her feelings toward her daughter, stating:
Sometimes I look at my daughter's Instagram when it pops up on my feed and I can't help but wish it were my life. I can't help but feel angry about how I was robbed of all of these moments with my parents when I gave her life. I can't exactly blame her for what happened but at the same time, if I had miscarried would I be in this situation? She will have my father walk her down the aisle if she decides to get married, but I will not. She can have a sweet sixteen I lost mine. She will finish high school I will not.
She closes the post by sharing that her parents told her daughter about her and the daughter reached out. Her daughter wants to have a relationship with her, but she says that is not what she wants, stating:
I just can't. It would be too painful for me. I feel so disgusting for my feelings towards her, but they just won't go away. And I am not going to hurt her by pretending to love her.
According to Karyl McBride Ph.D. of Psychology Today, when a mother envies her daughter, it is a form of narcissism and a way to diminish the threat to her own low self-esteem. Perhaps this young woman's detachment toward her daughter is rooted in something deeper than what she has shared.
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