Woman Chooses to Stay Home to Take Care of Her Pet Parrot Instead of Helping Plan Her Step-Daughter’s Wedding

Alisha Starr

About 40% of married couples in the US have at least one parent with a child from a previous relationship.

Developing a relationship with your stepchildren is often a priority for people, but not in all cases. The woman in this story, U/macawww345 is making a decision that nearly 5,000 commenters find very controversial.

She thinks it might ruin her relationship with her stepdaughter forever.

So I'm the owner of a wonderful rescued macaw. She is a wonderful bird but has a lot of issues due to an abusive former home. I've had her for 3 years and since then haven't taken any vacations or trips away as it would be too disruptive for her. She distrusts everyone and is very reliant on her routine. I love her deeply and I'm happy to make sacrifices for her. They are permanent toddlers and very intelligent birds.

She met her husband when his children were already pretty much grown up. His daughter was 16 and moved away to college around the time they married. She thinks they had a decent relationship until now.

The stepdaughter is now planning her wedding. She's planning a large, traditional wedding so she's "stressed out of her mind." She reached out to the author to see if she would come to visit her for a week to help finalize the wedding plans and spend some time bonding with her two-year-old kid.

The author promptly said no and naturally, her stepdaughter was upset and asked why, so she gave the parrot as her reason.

She caused a massive fuss with her dad, saying she never got a mother figure and I never accepted her as my full blood daughter and this is the ultimate snub for a silly animal. That I'm cold and emotionless... I feel really hurt and I can tell he agrees with her even though he's refusing to take sides. But I don't see why I should be expected to take holiday time off work to babysit and "bond" all of a sudden and I don't see how I'm a monster for this.

At the end of the post, she gives more context for the situation, explaining that they don't talk often and the daughter hasn't been home in four years to see them.

But this story does have a happy ending. She said all the comments on the post, both positive and negative, encouraged her to reach out to her stepdaughter and further discuss the situation. She offered to help in whatever way she can over Zoom. They also dove deeper into the relationship and uncovered why they've never been close, agreeing to make more of an effort from both sides from now on.

They made plans to have her visit after the wedding.

What do you think of how everything worked out?

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Rochester, NY

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