"You’re going to go visit gran for awhile"—Parents Abandon One Child, Then Get Upset When He "Doesn’t Recognize" Them

Alisha Starr

In the US, 8% of children end up living with family members like grandparents or aunts/uncles rather than their parents (compared to 38% worldwide).

U/throwaway_9572847 was part of that 8% as he was raised by his aunt and uncle from six years old on.

My older sister developed a serious illness when I was 6 and my parents decided that they couldn’t care for both of us I guess, so they kind of unceremoniously dumped me at my grandparents and my uncle took me in. Like, didn’t even explain to me what was going on, just “you’re going to go visit gran for awhile” and never picked me back up. My grandparents and uncle explained it later, and they were pretty livid at my parents.

He says he saw his parents around five times total since then but hasn't seen them at all throughout the last nine years. He decided to stop having contact with them. Even though the situation originally wasn't ideal, it turned out okay because his aunt and uncle couldn't have kids and viewed him as their "miracle kid."

They formally adopted him at 18 since it would've been too expensive to do it before then.

His sister passed away recently and he went to the funeral but stayed in the back. When his biological parents tried to call and talk to him, he said he wasn't available.

He ran into them again later and they tried to approach him for a hug.

I did recognize them, but I pretended not to and just backed off and said “Sorry, do I know you?” They said “We’re your parents!” and I said “My parents are at home.” and went and sat down with my gran. They sat behind us and I could just feel the stare, and on the way out they were like “You really don’t recognize us?” And I said “Oh, are you my dad’s brother? I think I remember you from when I was little.”

They ended up writing a long letter explaining how upset they were by the whole situation. Some other family members think he was too harsh since they're still grieving the loss of one child, but others think they had it coming after the decision they made.

What's your opinion?

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Rochester, NY

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