One poll found that an average friendship lasts for about 17 years, although many people said they've had the same best friend for 30 years and counting. Not everyone has this experience, though. Some people lose touch with friends from high school or college quickly, moving on to forge friendships with people they meet further into their adult life.
I (25F) have a group of girl friends (23-25F) I’ve known since college who I used to be incredibly close with. But lately things have been kind of strained between me and the other members. I’ve begun to feel like I’m on the outskirts of the group in comparison to the others, who regularly respond and react to each other’s posts and hang out with each other frequently. I on the other hand am lucky if I get a response back from any of them after I message them.
The lack of response on their part has led to several fights where she ended up needing to be the one to apologize even though she was the one with her feelings hurt. She feels like they frequently gang up on her to make her feel bad. Fighting with friends isn't uncommon, but sometimes it gets to the point where it's not worth continuing the friendship.
The author thinks she finally got to that point recently.
I bought everyone gifts - nothing expensive, clothing I knew they would like based on their interests. Afterwards, I reached out in the group chat asking if anyone would be interested in a December get-together, expressing how much I missed everyone and how I would love to catch up and give everyone their gifts...a lot of us have very busy work schedules and I figured asking this far in advance would give everyone time to plan accordingly. Almost everyone in the group saw it but didn’t respond.
She figured everyone must just be busy and decided to wait until the end of the day. Her boyfriend said maybe the message didn't send properly and suggested she send a follow-up message. So, the next day she did and even tried to make it light-hearted by sending a funny gif with it.
Again, no one replied. But this time the kicker was that they were actively replying to messages in another group chat that she was also in. So it was clear they were specifically ignoring her messages.
Now she was mad and hurt. But instead of sending a hurtful message in retaliation, she did something good instead. She took all the gifts she bought for them and brought them to a charity drive so someone in need could enjoy the clothing.
A few days later someone finally replied to her message and asked what gifts she got them. She told them what she did what the gifts and they kicked her out of the group chat. One girl even reached out and said things like this were why they never invited her to anything.
Now the author is questioning if giving the gifts away was the right move.
What would you say?