Opinion: The Marvel Comic Universe, Star Wars, Monty Python, and Lord of the Rings Are Insufferably Boring

Aimée Gramblin

"Star Wars Experience - Legoland"Dave Catchpole is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

Star Wars

I said what I said and I’ll say it again.

Star Wars isn’t my jam. The toys? Yeah, they’re super fun to play with. Well, at least the old-fashioned battery-powered ones from my 1980s childhood.

Other than that, I’ll give them a pass.

I was born in 1978 in the US, therefore I should love all things Star Wars.

We’ve established: I do not.

While I don’t remember seeing any of the Star Wars movies in my childhood, it’s possible they weren’t memorable enough to make an impression. Then again, maybe I’m the one kid in the US in the 1980s who didn’t see them.

My eyes glazed over while searching the Star Wars IMDb page because who needs that many movies to tell stories about dudes in outer space?

The photo is more interesting than the movie. Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)Star Wars scratch card by Montage Communications

I’ll reluctantly admit that when I saw Star Wars: A New Hope (the first first one) in my 1996 Creative Writing high school class, I was riveted to the screen. The small cube screen of a TV from the 20th century.

So, yes. I liked the first first one, yet am utterly annoyed I must explain it’s the first first one I like and not the whatever number it is in the chronologically 9-ology volume whats-his-face felt like producing.

Some famous guy or Disney, right?

Wait, did Marvel take over Disney or did Disney take over Marvel?

Is Star Wars a Disney thing now?

Will Darth and Rey appear in the MCU or has that already happened.

Oh yeah. I don’t care.

P.S. I’ve left the theater at two Star Wars films. The first was with my now-husband, then-boyfriend. Pretty sure it was something about attacking clones. Also left one with my young daughter. I don’t even remember why except it was her call. And she generally likes action.

She even likes Star Wars. So much so that she went as Rey one Halloween.

So don’t bother worrying about my kids, okay?

Entire MCU (Marvel Comic Universe)

Who’s in the Marvel Comic Universe?


I don’t know.

While I love Robert Downey Jr. — I mean it — I’m an OG fan from his days in films like Chaplin, Heart and Souls, and Only You, he’s the only reason I clicked on one of the Avengers movies when on a flight from the US to Taiwan. Or was it on the way back? Doesn’t matter.

RDJ was easy on my eyes, as always. I think there might have been a big superhero ant or something. I don’t know.

As established, Robert Downey, Jr. is my favorite part of the MCU.“Robert Downey Jr.” by Aly Leibow is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Let’s just say the only memorable impression for me was seeing a muscly RDJ on a small screen as I flew through the air, not thinking about Star Wars.

The other MCU movies??? Off to IMDb.

Yeah. Okay. So, I liked the Hulk of 80s cartoons.

But these movies? They’re big and loud and they make me tired.

So tired that if I try to watch them in a place I can’t escape — the theater — I fall asleep instead.

Lord of the Rings

In the early 2000s, my husband and I were newly married and had one pair of couple friends. They were older than us, had kids, and loved playing bones.

We’d head over to their sweet home, and hang out with the four of them and their sweet Boston terrier while drinking and playing dominoes.

Sometimes they’d talk us into watching stuff.

She liked crime shows.

UGH. My head and heart couldn’t.

They liked sci-fi/fantasy/adventure stuff.

And, this is why I suffered through The Lord of the Rings movies.

I’ve blocked most of it out.

I probably fell asleep on their couch.

Would it surprise you to know I couldn’t keep my eyes open to read Tolkien’s masterpieces either?

Yeah. You’re appalled. So are my son and daughter.

But, ugh. Long hair, old-time adventuring costumes, weird accents, and necessarily bright worlds with over-the-top unrelatable-to-me characters.

Give me some real humans who are cracking along their seams and ready for some deep conversations without journey and war, and I’ll be much happier, personally.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

My dad first tortured me with this movie when I was a wee lass. He also tried showing me Citizen Kane, many a Beatles movie, and lots of Gomer Pyle, along with weekend boxing and American football (barf).

Later, my high school and college friends espoused their deep love and affection for the man on a quest.

Woman on left looks as enthused as I feel about all these films and film franchises. Puh — lease.“Dragon Con 2013 Monty Python & the Holy Grail (9677447017).jpg” by Pat Loika CC 2.0

I didn’t like the slapstick, the story, or much else about it.

In fact, after several viewings, not one scene stands out in my memory recall.

Should you be wondering if I like films at all, the answer is an emphatic Yes.

Your turn.

I’m gonna take a gamble and guess you have something to say to me.

Memoirist-in-progress. Love is the way. INFP. Creativity Fiend. 🌈 Pronouns: She/Her muckrack.com/aimee-gramblin…

Originally published in Fanfare November 5 2021

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