A soon-to-be bride is engaged to someone from a conservative-minded family. As she begins her wedding preparations, the mother of the groom continually interferes with seemingly every decision, particularly when it comes to selecting makeup and apparel for the big day. Recently, the bride-to-be took to Reddit to explain the situation.
**This article is based on material obtained from sources pertaining to social media, news, and legal websites, which is referenced within the narrative**
Approximately 40% of Americans identify as “conservative,” - but what does this word truly mean? It depends on whom you ask. As The Atlantic suggested, the word can widely range between family, society, and government values. For instance, conservative could mean a longing for how things used to be or the belief that it's essential to uphold traditional morality, as articulated in the Bible, through societal norms and practices.
With that being said, the author of the post is engaged to marry a man who was raised within a "conservative family." And in the run-up to the wedding ceremony, his mother appears to be playing an active part.
In the bride-to-be's own words:
My fiancé and I are getting married. He comes from a conservative family and his mom has been up in the wedding planning posing as 'supervisor' to oversee and to 'catch & [eliminate]' anything that could be seen as 'offensive.'
Clearly, the journey has been anything but an easy one. One particularly noteworthy setback was dubbed by the post's author as the "wedding dress fiasco," wherein she was instructed to select a gown that did not reveal too much of her body.
And then came the "makeup issue." The bride explained:
I showed my fiancé some looks I wanted to choose from and he gasped and said his mom would have a stroke if she saw 'these.'
In utter exasperation, she inquired as to what her next move should be. What she did not anticipate was for her soon-to-be conservative mother-in-law to present her with "looks" of models wearing either no makeup or minimal makeup. In other words, the models sported a natural look with no eyeshadow or glossy lipstick.
She explained what happened next:
I refused to choose from any of her suggestions and we had an argument. My fiancé came home and argued about how I'm planning on humiliating him and family at the wedding by wanting to look like a...'clown' and make a joke out of BOTH of us.
In a fit of rage, she scolded her fiancé for believing that his mother should have any input into which makeup products she wore on her face. His response was that there should never be a distinction between 'mine' and 'yours' in marriage and that she lacked the necessary maturity to understand this.
Yet, the Mazurek, Belden, and Burke law firm disputes this notion of "what's mine is yours" in marriage as a presumption that can be challenged in various ways. Simply put, according to the firm, when it comes to classifying property as marital or separate, the decision depends on which type of property ownership system your state follows. The two main types used in the US are Community Property and Common Law. With that noted, a wife's personal choice of what makeup she wears on her face does not appear to fall within those categories.
In the end, the bride-to-be described the situation with her fiancé and future mother-in-law as follows:
He has been avoiding me while saying 'you know why I'm avoiding you...' and his mom sent a text about how she has my best interest at heart.
What do you think?
Tell me your thoughts in the comments, and don't forget to share this article with your friends and family.
Thanks for reading,
Abby
Sources
Friedersdorf, Conor. "What Americans Mean When They Say They’re Conservative." The Atlantic
u/Lth35467. "AITA for calling my Fiancé's delusional for wanting me to let his mom pick my makeup/look for the wedding?" Reddit
Holdsworth, Hillary. "WHAT’S MINE IS YOURS, AND WHAT IS YOURS IS MINE. OR IS IT? UNDERSTANDING MARITAL PROPERTY LAW AND ITS IMPLICATIONS." Mazurek, Belden, and Burke (MBB Legal)
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