Ryan is the type of man who seems to go out of his way to help people all the time, whether they ask for it or not. Apparently, during dinner at his girlfriend's brother's house, his "helpfulness" towards his blind wife went too far, eventually getting him kicked out of the house. His girlfriend took to Reddit to share what happened.
**This article is based on material obtained from sources pertaining to social media, government, and psychology websites, which is referenced within the narrative**
A staggering 12 million Americans aged 40 and above struggle with vision impairments, of which 1.3 million are legally blind and 3 million experience further damage after corrections have been made to their eyesight - the remaining 8 million suffer from uncorrected refractive errors.
In light of this, the author of the post, a woman who is 28 years old, has an older brother named Paul, and his wife, Lily, is legally blind. Every year, her brother and his wife host a holiday dinner, and for this one, the author's boyfriend, Ryan (27), attended the celebration for the very first time.
Apparently, from her account, Ryan is someone who goes around helping other people. Here's what she had to say about her boyfriend:
He is the type of guy who would give a coworker money for their rent or buy groceries for our neighbor. However, he can take it too far at times. He often tries to help people without asking if they need or want his help.
Before the couple left to attend the holiday gathering at her brother Paul's house, she gave Ryan a head's up on Lily's condition, essentially informing him that she's been blind her whole life. Specifically, she made a point to tell Ryan to only offer help to Lily in the event that she asked for it.
The couple got there a little early to help the hosts prep the meal. She explained:
While we were cooking, Ryan kept telling Lily things, like 'Lily, if you’re looking for the salt, it’s to your right' or 'Lily, don’t put that there, it’s too close to the edge.' Lily and Paul both told him that while his commentary was somewhat helpful, it was completely unnecessary. Still, Ryan did not stop.
Tensions ran high as Lily attempted to chop vegetables, only for Ryan to stop her and insist that he take over to keep her safe from potential harm. Lily replied that she could handle it, but Ryan demanded she gives him the knife. Eventually, Paul became aggravated and instructed Ryan to back off. He did lay off; however, he continued hovering above Lily as she cut up what was in front of her.
I asked Ryan to sit down until dinner was ready, but Ryan insisted that he just wanted to help. Finally, Lily asked him and I to help set the table and greet people arriving. We did, but things were still tense. I did pull Ryan to the side and reminded him again to only help Lily if she asked for it. He agreed, but I could tell that he was still upset.
After dinner, the tension cooled down, and the author's nieces (Lily's kids), ages 5 and 3, started to play this game where they would give their mom an item, and she'd have to guess what it was. To entertain them, she often made humorous guesses, for instance, saying an egg is an elephant or a shoe, which cracked the kids up.
In the author's words:
After dinner, the eldest handed Lily the salt shaker. When Lily guessed it was a phone, Ryan piped up and said it was a salt shaker. Lily laughed it off and explained the game to Ryan, but I could see she was annoyed. My niece then handed Lily a coin. When Lily guessed incorrectly, Ryan loudly told Lily it was a coin.
According to Judith Orloff, M.D., a clinical psychology professor, patience is not about passiveness or hopelessness - it is actually an empowering ability to be able to wait, observe and discern the perfect time for action. And as for Lily's husband, Paul, evidently, his patience reached its breaking point, and he pounced into action on Ryan, insisting that he leave since he thought it was obvious that he didn't respect his wife.
But Ryan countered and insisted that, as the author foretold at the beginning of the story, that he was only trying to be helpful. However, Lily also agreed with her husband, and the author got their stuff together and told her boyfriend that they should go.
Meanwhile, Ryan is holding a grudge against his girlfriend because he thinks that she should have stood up for him, especially knowing what a helpful guy he could be. Essentially, Ryan feels that she should have defended him from Paul's "overreaction," leaving her to question whether or not she did the right thing.
What do you think?
Tell me your thoughts in the comments, and don't forget to share this article with your friends and family.
Thanks for reading,
"Fast Facts About Vision Loss." Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
u/Throwawayhelpfulbf. "AITA for not defending my bf when my brother asked him to leave." Reddit
Orloff, Judith M.D. "The Power of Patience." Psychology Today
Comments / 75