Disclaimer: If you are struggling with mental health, please do not take the information in this article as medical advice. You should not consider anything in this post to be a replacement for consulting a qualified expert in the health, medical, or mental wellness fields.
When someone you care about is suffering through a rough time mentally, it's heartbreaking to watch. Although it's imperative to support them through the process, it can become a more difficult challenge if other family members aren't on the same page.
According to Samantha Berlin of Newsweek, the topic of mental health was recently brought to light in an online post from November 07, in which a woman and her husband were not shown compassion by other family members during their time of need.
"...it was his fault they died."
The author of the post revealed that she has been with her husband for ten years, during which they have spent five married. Sadly, she also disclosed that her husband had endured terrible "trauma" from his father. She explained, "His parents were married and expecting twins when his mom suffered some kind of hemorrhage, and she ended up with eclampsia. My husband's mom and twin sister did not make it. But my husband did after a period of time in the NICU. His dad told him it was his fault they died."
When he was a little boy, he was blessed with grandparents who were really important to him. She claims that the reason they were so precious to him was that they made an effort to protect him from his father's wrath. Unfortunately, when he was just eight years old, both of his grandparents passed away. And, for reasons that were never articulated, his father held him responsible for that too. Moreover, for the following ten years, her husband was forced to listen to the accusations that he was to blame each and every day. But at no point in time did he have anybody else who could comfort him.
When the author and her husband first began seeing one another, he had just started on the road to recovery. Her husband moved away from his father and underwent treatment in order to overcome his greatest concern, which was that his dad's judgments against him were valid.
All in all, the author went on to state that her husband is a "wonderful man," and that their nieces and nephews have nothing but love and admiration for him. Furthermore, according to her, he has been consistently nice towards them as well as the others in their family.
The author discovered she was pregnant in January 2020. However, awful events transpired once again. After going for a scan, the couple found out that she had miscarried. And when her husband learned this, something within him snapped. She explained, "He started to unravel. He was in the middle of a mental health crisis. He was doing this weird manic laugh that was also a sob. He ran out of the room, and I followed after him, concerned. My mom and sister both work at the hospital (sister's a nurse while mom worked in the little gift store). Both saw him in this worst moment. They saw as medical personnel was forced to intervene because he was in the middle of a breakdown, hysterical and totally out of it."
The author states that he was completely shattered to the point in which nothing could penetrate him. She indicated that it was the most terrifying experience of her life as well as the most difficult one of his. However, rather than demonstrating compassion for him, his family criticized him for "laughing" at the situation. After that, they went and informed the other adults in her family what they thought had transpired, and they, too, passed judgment on him despite the fact that they were aware of his past.
Eventually, the author's husband ended up under the care of a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist suggested he needed a lot more help than therapy could provide. However, rather than making an effort to comprehend the challenges he faced on a human level, her family decided they "no longer wanted him around." She writes, "They said a man who could laugh at his own wife's miscarriage was not the kind of man they wanted around the kids. I told them I would not leave him behind."
The Birthday Party
This year, the author's niece will be 12 years old, and she will be celebrating her first big birthday party since the pandemic. One day, the author's niece called and indicated that she wanted the author and her husband to attend her birthday party, but she couldn't find them on the guest list that her mother had put together.
But the author apologized and let her know that they wouldn't be able to make it to the event. The author explained, "She was upset and asked why she never saw us. Why we wouldn't come to her birthday party?... I told her that my husband was not welcome by the other adults in the family anymore."
After that, the niece angrily reprimanded both her own parents and those of the author. And in the end, the author got scolded by the family for telling her niece they weren't welcome anymore and said she had no right to say that.
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