Husband Tells Wife His Daughter Is More Important Than Her, Says She Always “Comes First”

Abby Joseph

The bond between a teenager and her stepmother is often tense at times. Ultimately, a teenage girl's relationship with her stepmother will be formed by the unique characteristics of both parties involved. Generally speaking, if the stepmom is able to provide a loving and supportive environment, the teenager is more likely to react favorably.

As you're about to read, however, things may become complicated if the stepmom oversteps, such as by trying to take on the role of "real mom" to the stepdaughter.

“…my daughter comes first in any situation.”

According to Newsweek's Kate Fowler, a husband recently informed his current wife that his 14-year-old daughter would always come first in his life. His daughter, he said, is the product of his first marriage. Yet he makes no attempt to hide the fact that his current wife, Isla, and his daughter have gotten along well in the recent past. They enjoyed each other's company by hanging around, watching television, and preparing meals together. However, even though they were becoming good friends, the daughter does not consider Isla to be her mother.

He said, “So the other day, my daughter came to me saying she wanted to go to her mothers, I asked why she did because she looked upset. She said to ask my wife. I called her mom and she said she'd pick her up but hasn't heard any issues from my daughter.”

He continued, “My daughter's birthday is coming up, we are doing a quince [15th birthday party] for her. She's very excited. So Isla went to my daughter, saying that she wanted to have a quince 'just with us' meaning without her mother or her family."

Isla fought against his daughter's wish to have her mother present at the celebration. Isla labeled the daughter "bratty" when she questioned why her mother was being excluded from the special occasion. She suggested that if she wanted her mother so much, she should leave and stay with her instead.

The husband defended the biological father's traditional role in parenting by saying that it is up to him to take on the tough responsibilities of caring for his daughter. Thereby, he interjected by telling Isla she should know better than disrespecting his child - in particular, he stressed that she is not her biological mother. And he warned that the more Isla tried to assume the role of mother, the more his daughter would turn away from her.

He said, “Her argument was that she wanted to be noticed by my daughter and why I care so little about her feelings. I told her my daughter notices her, they go out on 'girls days' weekly, they go out, watch movies together etc, my daughter has been plenty inviting to her. Frankly I'm surprised at how well she's opened up to her but now she will have to earn her trust back.”

According to the father, “She again asked why I keep 'taking my daughters side and not meeting her in the middle' I told her she's wrong here, simple as that, I could have if she didn't do it like this, I told her that if she expects me to turn on my daughter she's out of her mind and my daughter comes first in any situation.”

Isla burst into tears and accused him of putting other people, like his daughter, before her. The father then confirmed that Isla is, as she suspected, in "second place" to his biological daughter and said, “I would never want her to put me over a kid, she left and now isn't speaking to me.”

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