Woman Refuses to Forgive "Traditional" Parents Who Didn't Support Her Going to College

Abby Joseph

*With the source's consent, the following is a work of nonfiction based on the experiences of a close friend.

Growing up is demanding in and of itself, but it may be significantly more difficult if your parents are too controlling and rigid in their gender expectations.

This has the potential to cause a great deal of anxiety and uncertainty for many children. They might get the impression that they are not permitted to express themselves in an authentic manner, which can result in feelings of inadequacy and shame on their part.

In extreme circumstances, as you're about to read this story from a close friend, this may also result in complete estrangement from one's parents.

"I do not believe that I am acting in an unreasonable or childish manner."

I am the only girl in a family of four boys and the second youngest.

My parents instilled in me a strong grasp of the many religious and cultural gender norms throughout my upbringing.

For example, it is reasonable for fathers to maintain their careers while mothers care for their families domestic responsibilities.

They never recognized or appreciated my academic studies or other achievements because of their expectations for me to be a "proper" girl. 

My two elder brothers had already graduated high school by the time I got there, and they had both gone on to college with full financial support from my parents. The same thing occurred with my younger sibling as well.

Despite my best efforts, they informed me that they would not support sending me to college. Aside from this, I managed to get a modest grant by submitting my applications secretly.

Until a week before I left, nobody knew I would be departing.

The kindness of a few close friends allowed me to make do with what little I had.

Taking engineering studies was difficult; I had to work, go into debt, and put up with a lot of hardship.

To tell you the truth, I have not spoken with either of my parents in a number of years. However, now they are excited to get together since I just got married and I am now expecting my first child.

When we ran into one other in a park, they asked if we could start up a relationship again and apologized if they had upset me in any way.

I pushed for further information on the specifics of their remorse.

Basically, they were anxious to start over and create a connection, but other than that, they did not give any details in their response.

That didn't cut it for me; it wasn't satisfactory in any way.

As a last-ditch effort, I recommended that they prove they regretted their actions by paying the almost $80,000 necessary to fund my school tuition in a single lump amount, just as they had done for my brothers. 

After I broke the news to my parents that I was going to leave, both began crying, arguing that I wasn't a good daughter.

Since then, I've received phone calls from my brothers, during which they've accused me of being immature and harsh.

I do not believe that I am acting in an unreasonable or childish manner.

What do you think?

Is my friend being "unreasonable" or "childish"?

Let me know what you think in the comments, and don't forget to share this article with your friends and family.

Thanks for reading,


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