Woman disregards son's and DIL's wish to keep pregnancy a secret and posts on social media. DIL miscarries.

Aabha Gopan

*This is a work of non-fiction sourced from social media and verified experts/specialists.*

Boundaries with in-laws are essential for a smooth relationship with them. Without well-communicated boundaries, in-laws, as parents, might unknowingly (in some cases, knowingly) interfere in the couple's personal matters.

A Reddit user shared an issue he is facing with his mother on the social media platform and sought advice from other Redditors. The author and his wife had wanted to keep their pregnancy a secret during the first trimester, but his mother posted about it online. Sadly, they had miscarried, making his mother seem cruel in front of others.

"We lost the child"

The author and his wife were expecting their first child. Although they were thrilled, they decided not to tell anyone during early pregnancy. But things didn't go as they planned. He wrote:

"My mom was over at our house and noticed some obvious clues of pregnancy. She asked about it and we were honest. We also asked her to please respect our wishes and not go telling people because it was early in the pregnancy and we wanted time to ourselves to absorb it. The pregnancy was unplanned but welcome."

While pregnancy is an exciting time for mothers, unnecessary expectations, guidance, and pressure from others can add stress. Therefore, NaoMedocial advises expecting parents to keep their pregnancies a secret for the first three months.

Although the author and his wife also wanted to maintain control over when to reveal the good news, his mother couldn't contain her excitement. He wrote:

"My mom lasted two weeks before she started posting about becoming a grandmother. We hadn't told her yet we lost the baby. I was still feeling dead inside when I saw her post, so I just commented that "Elise (his wife) miscarried a week ago". I guess it took about an hour for my mom to see the comment and delete her post."

The author and his wife started getting condolences they didn't want, and his mother was getting criticized by her friends and family. He wrote:

"My mother is mad at me for not telling her that we had lost her grandchild. I replied that I didn't want her blabbing my family's personal life again, which I think was wrong. She is crying, and my dad says I have every right to be upset but could have been nicer. I'm just so angry right now I don't know how to feel."

What do you think? Was the author wrong to reveal the bad news on social media after his mother disregarded his and his wife's wishes? Or was the author right in humiliating his mother by revealing the bad news?

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