A new mom created an uproar on a social media platform after she claimed her father-in-law crossed the limits by eating a muffin made from her milk. She had to take drastic measures to ensure security but doing so has created issues between her and her loved ones.
The author, who remains anonymous throughout the post, explains that she has a seven-month-old baby boy who is currently weaning. So she made popsicles with her milk a few months ago and posted a picture in the group chat. Eerily, her father-in-law commented, "I'd love to try one of those" with heart emojis. When she brought to his attention that they were made from her milk, he justified himself, saying he missed that part of the message.
The author wrote:
I'm convinced that my FIL is being weird about my br**stfeeding and not in a "that makes me uncomfortable" way. I made the baby popsicles from my b**b milk a few months ago, and FIL put in the group chat that "I'd love to try one of those" with a hearts as eyes emoji. I said, "What? They're made from br**st milk," and he said he didn't notice that caption.
The author gave her father-in-law the benefit of the doubt and let it slide.
But then, recently, she baked her baby some muffins with her milk. Her father-in-law dropped by her house unexpectedly, and when he saw the muffins, the author informed him that they were made of her milk and were for the baby. She also offered him a normal muffin.
After that, she left to wash her hands, and when she returned, one of the milk muffins was missing. Her father-in-law admitted to eating it and defended himself, saying the baby had more than enough left. The author found the whole incident super weird and kicked him out.
Today I baked the baby some muffins. The recipe called for a half cup of br**st milk, so I made them per recipe. FIL came over unannounced and said, "Oh yum, someone's been baking," so I told him, "Those muffins are for the baby; they're just fruit, flour, and br**st milk. I have a normal cake we can have". I then left the room to wash my hands, and came back, and one of the muffins was missing. I asked my husband, and he had no idea, so I asked FIL, and he said that he ate it. I said, that's disgusting; I told him they were the baby's and contained br**st milk. He doubled down and said it's ok because "br**st milk is vegan" (note, no one in this story is vegan).
According to the New York Times, one must call out a relative when they're being creepy. Steve Almond, a host of Dear Sugars in the NY Times, felt that although acting against a creepy relative can cause issues in the family, one is saving oneself and other women from being treated poorly.
Initially, her husband and mother-in-law were pissed at her for mistreating her father-in-law. But after she explained the whole story to her husband, he agreed his father had crossed the limits. Meanwhile, her mother-in-law understood her reaction.
I asked my husband what he thought I was mad about (he was in the room but on the other side and occupied with the baby), and he said he didn't realize that his dad actually ate the muffin; he thought I was pissed because he was messing with them. He also didn't remember the group chat incident but agreed that both incidents together were creepy. I called MIL to "clear the air," and she revealed that FIL has always been "very interested" in lactation, and she actually only fed my husband for four months and always behind a locked door! Apparently, FIL moved jobs after a woman complained that he kept intruding on her pumping in a designated space in the office.
However, her mother-in-law still thinks FIL is just curious and doesn't harbor any ill intentions.
But as per The Realistic Mama, respecting a nursing mom's boundaries is essential. One must ensure the mother is comfortable with nursing in another's presence and give her space when feeding the baby.
What do you think?
Was the father-in-law being creepy and should the author restrict him being around her? Or is her father-in-law genuinely only curious and should she let the issue slide? Share your thoughts below.