Mom guilt trips daughter to take blame for her mistake

Aabha Gopan

Is it right to guilt trip someone?

Guilt tripping is a powerful technique to control a person’s actions, thoughts, and behavior. Sometimes it involves inducing unjust feelings of guilt in a person’s mind and manipulating their actions.

Guilt tripping can damage relationships and cause resentment, reactance, and poor well-being.

What if a parent guilt trips their child?

This topic was highlighted in a recent Reddit post about a mom who asks her daughter to take responsibility for damaging her ex-husband’s car by guilt tripping the latter. The woman says her other children might go to foster care if the daughter didn’t do it.

Should one ever exploit a person?

The author starts the post by saying that her parents divorced and remarried when she was a child. Her mother and step-dad had three children after their marriage, and the author stays with her step-sister (from step-dad’s previous marriage) and her three half-siblings. On the other hand, her dad and step-mom have one child.

The author explains that until 2020, she stayed two weeks in each household. But during the pandemic, she stayed with her dad because she didn’t want to be stuck with many people and didn’t want to babysit freely.

She explains that her dad wouldn’t ask her to babysit frequently and would pay if she did. But her mother would expect her to babysit her siblings because it's her family duty as the eldest child. During the time period, her mom, step-dad, and step-sister would call and message saying she was selfish for choosing to stay at her dad’s place.

Eventually, she returned to her mom’s house when the restrictions eased, but they were angry at her.

Having said that, the author’s dad and step-mom had gone out of state for a business trip and family vacation and invited her to join. But her mother refused to let her go. So the author asked her father’s family to go on the trip. Before they went, they felt a key to their house with the author.

While the author was asleep, her mother and step-dad took the key, borrowed her dad’s car, and accidentally got it damaged. Her mother woke her up crying, asking her to take the blame for it so that her dad wouldn’t press charges. Her mother also woke up her siblings and told them they would end up in foster care if the author didn’t do the ‘heroic’ thing. Her siblings asked her with teary eyes why she didn’t love them enough to help them.

The author caved in and told her dad that she had damaged his car. Her dad punished her by taking the key back and cutting the repair costs from her allowance. She added that her mom and step-dad couldn’t pay for the repair because her siblings may not have enough food if they did.

Taking advantage of a person is wrong

When one takes advantage of a person, they’re leaving the person feeling used, and they might develop mental issues.

But the author’s mom and step-dad didn’t realize this and expected her to act normal even after putting her through so much.

After the author returned from her dad’s house, she wasn’t in the mood to do any chores, and her mom and step-dad tried to punish her for it. The author got furious and told them their rules didn't apply to her as long as they didn’t want her dad to know what happened to his car. They called her disrespectful for that.

Now the author is wondering whether what she said was wrong.

What do you think? Should the author have done the chores even after what her mom and step-dad made her do? Share your thoughts in the comment box.

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Writes about popular Reddit threads to give insight into the different types of people in society.

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