Father storms off after sister deadnamed his son on her wedding

Aabha Gopan

Is it right to ignore a transgender person's new name?

We are approaching the end of another Pride Month, which celebrates the LGBTQIA+ community and spreads awareness about them. Transgender people are a part of this community and go through mental strain trying to understand their identities.

To feel more aligned with their identity, a transgender person may change their birth name. However, not everyone will accept this change and deadname them.

Deadnaming is when a person uses a transgender person’s old name and not the new one. This can take a toll on their mental health and give the impression that one doesn’t respect them.

This topic was highlighted in a recent Reddit post about a father who left his sister’s wedding after she refused to acknowledge that his son had changed his name after identifying as a transgender person. The post went viral with over 26.1K upvotes and received 2.4K comments.

Shouldn’t one respect another person’s identity?

The author begins the post by saying that he is a father of three sons who are 17, 15, and 14 years old. Although his second son was born female, he came out as transgender five years ago and has socially transitioned. While some of his family members have adjusted well to it, others have not.

Recently, the author’s sister got married, and they were invited. She had organized her wedding very well to the last, minute details. She wanted all men to wear shirts and ties and women to sport sundresses.

He texted her a picture of all their outfits before the wedding to ensure they were alright, and she asked him where his Nia’s (transgender son) dress was. The author was surprised because his sister was indifferent about his son’s identity. So he asked her not to deadname his son and told her he would be wearing a shirt and tie like all other men. His sister replied, ‘fine,’ which was the end of the conversation.

Things got worse at the reception when the author found that his son was again deadnamed. The card on their table had his transgender son’s old name. He got furious and left the wedding with his children after his sister said that’s their real name.

Parents should stand up for their children

Coming out as transgender isn’t easy, and children look up to their parents for support.

Although the author stood by his son, he ruined his sister’s reception. Now, his family members say what he did was wrong.

What do you think? Share your thoughts below.

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