The Foolproof Classic Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe From The Wasteland Of My Childhood
⬇ No teasing — here’s the cross-section at the top of the recipe.
I have very few passions but baking is one of them. This is one of my favorite original recipes.
I have searched high and low most of my adult life for a chocolate chip cookie recipe as delicious as the lofty memories from my childhood. At some point before I reached double digits, I had the lord of all cookies, and I have been chasing its ecstasy ever since. I have likely romanticized it over the years, but I think that this recipe comes dangerously close. And it is definitely dangerous because there is no way you can eat a reasonable amount of these after baking them. R.I.P. to your diet.
I created this recipe through trial and error. I knew that I had perfected it after Thanksgiving of 2019. I had failed to make them in time for the holiday, but I still had all the ingredients, so I did them for myself at home in a countertop convection oven (my actual oven had been out-of-commission for months). Of all the times that I had tweaked this recipe before, this was the most resplendent. Enough time had passed since I had last made them and enough imitators had come and gone that I was able to judge them dispassionately.
Most of these ingredients you will already have in your kitchen. I’ll note where you can replace or substitute items in the footnote.
2 1/4 cups AP flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tbsp instant coffee mix
1 1/2 11.5oz pack semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup toasted butter (preferably full-fat European)
1 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp mixed essence
1: Making toasted butter is easier than it sounds and it is an essential step for that flavorful, fragrant kick. Place the butter in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring often until bubbly, fragrant, and golden brown. Transfer to a dish and allow to cool to room temperature. That’s all.
2: Preheat oven to 350°
3: Thoroughly combine all Dry Ingredients (flour, soda, salt, coffee, chocolate) in a large mixing bowl.
4: Cream together the cooled butter and sugars until homogenous. Add eggs and extracts and mix well.
5: Combine wet and dry ingredients until a thick, smooth dough is formed.
6: Using an oversized ice cream scoop, gather a rounded portion of dough. Roll it into a smooth ball. Place the cookies on a parchment paper-lined sheet 2 inches apart. For a flatter and more aesthetic cookie, lightly press down into the center of the balls with your thumb (do not flatten them completely, just significantly indent)
7: Bake at 350° for 16 minutes or until lightly bronzed. Cool on the tray for five minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely before serving.
Now that you’ve made these cookies, I welcome you to the wasteland of my rural New Jersey childhood. Feast upon the treats of God and grow fat.
- This began as a base chocolate chip cookie recipe for a mail-order bakery company that my sister and I were planning to start.
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